I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
