Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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