I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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