I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
