dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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