East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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