Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just invented taco cereal.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
