Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
