You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
