What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
