i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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