I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
