Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
