dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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