Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
wow bdsm is so cute
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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