i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize