Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
