I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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