one might say we're banned from that church
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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