He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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