proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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