I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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