Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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