don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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