brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think your dad took our porno
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
