Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
