JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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