My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
