You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
