genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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