i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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