A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize