Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
