He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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