I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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