he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
