remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
