i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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