I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
