I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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