it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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