I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
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