Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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