awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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