ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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