Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
