allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
