went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you didnt know i had herpes?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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