I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
