LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
