I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
