I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
should my penis look like a turkey
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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