im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
