it hurts more in the daytime
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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